Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Month of November

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump stirred controversy on Friday via signing an government order that would ban the month of November.

While felony students protested that he did no longer have the proper to decrease the wide variety of months in a yr from twelve to eleven, Trump argued that “the Constitution doesn’t say something about how many months you have to have.”

“All of these clever guys like Jefferson and Madison, these beauties, this is some thing they didn’t assume of,” he said. “I received them on the months.”

Trump stated that getting rid of November from the calendar was once “long overdue,” calling it “a rigged month.”

“November is a hoax,” he said. “Some human beings say it may additionally now not even be a actual month.”

Responding to a reporter’s query about the future of Thanksgiving, Trump stated that “nobody will pass over it.”

“Just ask everyone in this country,” he said. “Nobody has whatever to be grateful for.” 
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